Let's talk crafts. I love crafts. Want to do crafts all the time, but alas, I fail miserably-no surprise there. Once children came to roost, the potential for a long stretch of focused time, vaporized like the dirty diapers do in the diaper pail. Not to mention, tiny fingers getting into one's craft supplies is a constant problem. The one time I attempted to create Halloween spiders out of oak balls, black pipe cleaners, hot glue and googly eyes ended disastrously with burnt fingers and a kitchen table staring back at me. (think googly eyes stuck solid with said hot glue, to the no longer finished surface of our daily dining table.) So, needless to say, crafting has gone the way of "dinner and a movie" nights, s*x anytime, anywhere, and eating frozen pizza rolls for dinner, three nights in a row. Until that is, I found this fabulous blog, by a true Martha Stewart-type woman. I mean, she has got it together, from the actual space to do such crafty projects to her self professed dream home. Just looking at her Pirate Themed party she threw for her 3 year old, I knew this lady was going to be my idol, my darling, my dear, my deity. My pagan symbol, my superstar. There is just not enough nouns out there to describe her. Truly. After viewing the pictures of the fabulous Pirate themed party, I knew I had to see more. I stumbled across this oh-so-cute idea of a firefly jar, seen HERE. Now, I live in a suburb where there are no fireflies. I don't even think my children know what a firefly is, so of course, I had to attempt this project. Besides, Martha Junior made it look so easy, there was no way I could fail. And so, I set off this week to find all the supplies, of which Martha Junior indicated were easy to find and inexpensive. I knew immediately I wanted to find some really cool jars, even though Martha Junior appeared to use a plain spaghetti jar of sorts. I had in mind the old canning jars with the medal locking mechanism and rubber gasket. Like these HERE (And wouldn't you know they are actually called LIGHTNING jars-perfect!) So, bright and early, my Littlest Chick and I set out for...wait for it...Goodwill.
Now, I must take a detour here and discuss Goodwill. I'm not opposed to Goodwill, heaven knows, I've contributed quite a few out-grown pants, stained shirts, and weather beaten shoes to my local store. I've even thrown in a used bra or two. In recent years the concept of Goodwill has taken on a movement of it's own with the push for reuse and recycle. Half the stuff on ETSY http://www.etsy.com (one of my favorite sites) is made from recycled this and reclaimed that. And, I happen to know first hand (well, not really but it does sound good that way) that many of the items people are trying to sell for a good penny, have found their way to them via the good ol' Goodwill or other similar thrift store. I myself, have never had the opportunity to shop there-until this week. Back to the story-Littlest Chick and I venture to the store, find a shopping buggy and start scoping out "cool jars" as I told him. I found two. Two that are only so-so, one of which being on the border of a no-go, and of course, I purchased them both. After we had exhausted the cool bottle options, I decided to check out the clothing department. Now, I'm not going to SAY what size I am, but it's not a size 6 and I was dubious and figured I'd never find anything in my size. How surprised I was! 3 pairs of jeans later (at only $6.99 a piece!) I was checking out. Keep in mind, I'd only ventured there for the bottles. And while I got a great deal on the jeans, I stepped out with the first part of my craft shopping done, having spent roughly $24.00. The bottles being a mere $.99 each, I'm right on course in doing what I've always done on craft projects-over spend.
Next, I needed the fake grass blades, wooden screw hole buttons, glow in the dark paint, wire and I'm sure something else I couldn't quite remember. Littlest Chick and I set off for the local Beverly's store. By this time of course, as with all things involved with an outing, he's losing it by the second block out from the local Goodwill. I throw him a granola bar I packed for that very scenario and hoped for the best. We wheel in and I head for the fake flowers, grasses and grapes. Another detour here please. Let's just say, making fake flora is a racket! The price for some of these "bunches" is outrageous to say the very least. Sure they look realistic, especially the pricier ones. But come ON, I can't pay $19.99 for one sprig of grass that sorta looks real in a squinty eye kind of way. And that's exactly what I was up against. Having blown most of my craft budget on the jeans (even if they were a good deal) I knew I had to go with the less realistic grass. One bunch of the squinty eye, looking grass, one bunch on a second squinty eye bunch that has different shades of green and I'm set for the greens. We head to the wood working area of the store to find those buttons. I couldn't believe it when I found them. Not sure on how many flies I should add to the jars, I picked up three packs, each containing 22 or so pieces. I know immediately, I've over done it. $32 later, it's confirmed as I walk out with my sprigs, paint, wire, and buttons and my about-to-throw-a-tantrum 2 year old. Yep, right on course for a FAIL. It's a real Calamity.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Things I want to be and do:
1. Live on a ranch, where we drive cattle 200 miles, one way, once a summer. I'd go by the name "Willow" and would be a sharp shooter in an Annie Oakley sort of way.
2. Fly to Paris, there and back in First Class. I just KNOW the food would be served on real china.
3. Be super crafty, with a craft project started and completed every, single day. And as such, I'd feature it on a cool site like ETSY, where I'll make a million dollars in one year. None of my items would ever be featured on REGRETSY.
4. Grow and maintain a fabulous Victory Garden, the likes of which haven't been seen since the 50's. Lettuce, corn, tomatoes, green beans, squash, pumpkins, cucs and a few peas thrown in.
5. I'd live off my land and sell my extras at a rustic road side stand out in front of my country home. Where only the mailman happens by; along with the daily milk delivery truck.
6. My laundry would be done and completed every day by 9am. That's washed,dried (on the line of course), pressed, folded, and hanged if appropriate. Towels and sheets would be no exception. (Fitted sheets would be folded just so...into a neat, little square that fits nicely in my linen closet.)
7. I'd HAVE a linen closet, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
8. My house would be spotless, and not because I have a cleaning crew come in once a week. It's all because I've got it together and that's just how I roll.
9. Dinner would be served promptly at 6pm; every, single, night, no exceptions.
10. Unexpected guests (or pop-overs as I like to call them) would always be welcomed, no questions asked.
11. I would know how to use the words "then" and "than" with out second guessing myself.
12. My yard would be full of blooming flowers, all seasonally appropriate, with a thick, lush, Irish-green lawn. Weeds would never be seen and that lush lawn would be mowed every week, on Wednesday.
13. I'd wear beautiful jammies, like seen in the J. Jill catalog.
14. My wardrobe would be straight out of there as well.
15. All my shoes would be Danskos. Save for the cowboy boots I'd need for the cattle drive.
16. I'd never, ever use the Lord's name in vain and I wouldn't curse like a sailor either.
17. Fresh baked cookies would always be in the cookie jar, enough said.
Things I'm not and probably will never do:
1. All of the above. I'm just your average, stay at home mom, who fails miserably at being a house wife, on a daily basis. I'm the opposite of most bloggers who seem to have it all together. I'm not here to bitch and complain, but rather, to add a small sense of "real life" into the mix. I'm far from perfect, but want to be SO bad! It's a real Calamity.
1. Live on a ranch, where we drive cattle 200 miles, one way, once a summer. I'd go by the name "Willow" and would be a sharp shooter in an Annie Oakley sort of way.
2. Fly to Paris, there and back in First Class. I just KNOW the food would be served on real china.
3. Be super crafty, with a craft project started and completed every, single day. And as such, I'd feature it on a cool site like ETSY, where I'll make a million dollars in one year. None of my items would ever be featured on REGRETSY.
4. Grow and maintain a fabulous Victory Garden, the likes of which haven't been seen since the 50's. Lettuce, corn, tomatoes, green beans, squash, pumpkins, cucs and a few peas thrown in.
5. I'd live off my land and sell my extras at a rustic road side stand out in front of my country home. Where only the mailman happens by; along with the daily milk delivery truck.
6. My laundry would be done and completed every day by 9am. That's washed,dried (on the line of course), pressed, folded, and hanged if appropriate. Towels and sheets would be no exception. (Fitted sheets would be folded just so...into a neat, little square that fits nicely in my linen closet.)
7. I'd HAVE a linen closet, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
8. My house would be spotless, and not because I have a cleaning crew come in once a week. It's all because I've got it together and that's just how I roll.
9. Dinner would be served promptly at 6pm; every, single, night, no exceptions.
10. Unexpected guests (or pop-overs as I like to call them) would always be welcomed, no questions asked.
11. I would know how to use the words "then" and "than" with out second guessing myself.
12. My yard would be full of blooming flowers, all seasonally appropriate, with a thick, lush, Irish-green lawn. Weeds would never be seen and that lush lawn would be mowed every week, on Wednesday.
13. I'd wear beautiful jammies, like seen in the J. Jill catalog.
14. My wardrobe would be straight out of there as well.
15. All my shoes would be Danskos. Save for the cowboy boots I'd need for the cattle drive.
16. I'd never, ever use the Lord's name in vain and I wouldn't curse like a sailor either.
17. Fresh baked cookies would always be in the cookie jar, enough said.
Things I'm not and probably will never do:
1. All of the above. I'm just your average, stay at home mom, who fails miserably at being a house wife, on a daily basis. I'm the opposite of most bloggers who seem to have it all together. I'm not here to bitch and complain, but rather, to add a small sense of "real life" into the mix. I'm far from perfect, but want to be SO bad! It's a real Calamity.
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