Things I want to be and do: 

1. Live on a ranch, where we drive cattle 200 miles, one way, once a summer.  I'd go by the name "Willow" and would be a sharp shooter in an Annie Oakley sort of way. 
2. Fly to Paris, there and back in First Class.  I just KNOW the food would be served on real china. 
3. Be super crafty, with a craft project started and completed every, single day.  And as such, I'd feature it on a cool site like ETSY, where I'll make a million dollars in one year.  None of my items would ever be featured on REGRETSY. 
4. Grow and maintain a fabulous Victory Garden, the likes of which haven't been seen since the 50's. Lettuce, corn, tomatoes, green beans, squash, pumpkins, cucs and a few peas thrown in. 
5. I'd live off my land and sell my extras at a rustic road side stand out in front of my country home.  Where only the mailman happens by; along with the daily milk delivery truck. 
6. My laundry would be done and completed every day by 9am.  That's washed,dried (on the line of course), pressed, folded, and hanged if appropriate.  Towels and sheets would be no exception.  (Fitted sheets would be folded just so...into a neat, little square that fits nicely in my linen closet.) 
7. I'd HAVE a linen closet, and that's all I'm going to say about that. 
8. My house would be spotless, and not because I have a cleaning crew come in once a week.  It's all because I've got it together and that's just how I roll. 
9. Dinner would be served promptly at 6pm; every, single, night, no exceptions. 
10. Unexpected guests (or pop-overs as I like to call them) would always be welcomed, no questions asked.
11. I would know how to use the words "then" and "than" with out second guessing myself. 
12. My yard would be full of blooming flowers, all seasonally appropriate, with a thick, lush, Irish-green lawn.  Weeds would never be seen and that lush lawn would be mowed every week, on Wednesday. 
13. I'd wear beautiful jammies, like seen in the J. Jill catalog. 
14. My wardrobe would be straight out of there as well. 
15. All my shoes would be Danskos.  Save for the cowboy boots I'd need for the cattle drive. 
16. I'd never, ever use the Lord's name in vain and I wouldn't curse like a sailor either. 
17. Fresh baked cookies would always be in the cookie jar, enough said.

Things I'm not and probably will never do: 

1. All of the above.  I'm just your average, stay at home mom, who fails miserably at being a house wife, on a daily basis.  I'm the opposite of most bloggers who seem to have it all together.  I'm not here to bitch and complain, but rather, to add a small sense of "real life" into the mix.  I'm far from perfect, but want to be SO bad!  It's a real Calamity.